[One Direction] Untitled

[Timothy]

So this is over the limit but fuck it this is my forum.

yolo bitches.

The lights were on and the cameras were rolling and Harry Styles was feeling very, very uncomfortable. To his left his bandmates sat serenely in the limelight, laughing and joking with their beautiful interviewer. She was blonde and she laughed a lot and currently, she was giving Liam the third degree about Danielle. She had already talked to the others about their girlfriends and he dreaded to think it would be his turn next.

Liam said something cute and everyone laughed; the audience, the interviewer, the other boys. Harry broke a slight smile, too, but it faded as quickly as it appeared. The interviewer had fixed him with a stare that made him shift in his seat. She flicked her hair over her shoulder.

“So, Harry,” she said. “We hear you're recently single. What happened?”

Her bluntness didn't even catch him off guard. It was typical; she was just a tool of the media machine and in her mind, she was entitled to ask that question. She might even consider it her duty. Even now as her question hung over them unanswered and waiting, it occurred to Harry that she probably hadn't even considered that he might not want to talk about it. She probably thought he owed an explanation.

He didn't, but he gave one anyway.

“Well, we, er... we had some differences,” he said slowly. The interviewer nodded seriously.

“We heard that she was depressed. Is that true?”

Harry looked out towards the audience and then towards the camera. He licked his lips and was uncertain why he felt so nervous. It was so unlike him to balk at a simple question. But it wasn't a simple question, was it? There were so many things he could say... so many things swirling just below the surface. The answer was yes, he thought. She was more in love with her sadness than she ever was with me.

[ladystrawberry]

What the...? Timothy, what is this?

I just can't with that last line; "She was more in love with her sadness than she ever was with me."

Pink Jeffrey the Cat is a gratuitous picture of myself upon reading the whole thing.

[Timothy]

is that how you feedback Maria

jk.

There's more to it but I wanted it shredded, not put in stories so yeah.

idk what it is. It just kind of gotten written the other day while derping and taking a break from The House.

Edit about your edit: OMGGGGGG

"Pink Jeffrey the Cat is a gratuitous picture of myself upon reading the whole thing."

I love you.

[ladystrawberry]

Hahaha, I'm sorry. I don't have anything to add to it though. c:

Miejeje, I love you, too.

[Timothy]

I love you, too :*

[ladystrawberry]

Whoops, modified.

[Princess Cliche]

Umm.

Oh, my.

I can't even.

That last line...

Beautiful.

It has that "je ne sais quoi" effect.

Which is, effectively, my cop out when I can't decribe things.

[Sienna]

The last line. Here comes the tears. Timothy I will kill you if this doesn't turn into a story soon.

[levi]

Sept 27, 2012 22:11:30 GMT -5 Timothy said:

She had already talked to the others about their girlfriends and he dreaded to think it would be his turn next.

Are you implying Niall has a girlfriend as well. It is unclear but if so boo you.

Liam said something cute and everyone laughed

So unrealistic. Get with the times. Payzer is dead.

Harry broke a slight smile, too, but it faded as quickly as it appeared.

By putting the extra comma before too and bringing emphasis to it, it makes the sentence sound unnecessarily choppy.

Her bluntness didn't even catch him off guard. It was typical; she was just a tool of the media machine and in her mind, she was entitled to ask that question. She might even consider it her duty. Even now as her question hung over them unanswered and waiting, it occurred to Harry that she probably hadn't even considered that he might not want to talk about it. She probably thought he owed an explanation.

This paragraph about the media, although written well, breaks the feeling of anxiousness that is evident within the start and end of the piece and replaces it with bitterness. Consider revision.

There were so many things he could say... so many things swirling just below the surface.

Why did you use ellipsis for the break in the sentence? Seems out of place within the piece.

She was more in love with her sadness than she ever was with me.

Oh shit.



Overall the piece was very good. You were able to convey an overall feeling of anxiousness from Harry evident within most of the piece. I would love to read more from it.

[Timothy]

WELL TOO DAMN BAD EVERYONE THIS STANDS ALONE HAHA.

Seriously considering your suggestions, Levi. I am sorry your brain hurts.

Also please don't kill me Sienna.

[Sienna]

I will smite you to oblivion.

[Timothy]

[Sienna]

As you should be.

[Timothy]

I am le terrified.