[One Direction] My Only One

[Sienna]

"I just don't get it." Liam stated flatly, his beautiful brown eyes staring deep into mine as his fingers tightened around my shoulders.


"What's not to get?" I mumbled, pushing my dark hair out of my eyes and shying away from his hands, trying to sink as far into the couch as physically possible.


Liam's grip tightened and he pulled my unwilling body closer to his. "I don't get why you do this to yourself. I can't fathom why you would hurt yourself just to make yourself feel better."


"You just don't understand." I murmured.


"Exactly." He whispered, leaning his forehead onto mine and closing his eyes. His long eyelashes fluttered softly against my cheek as he took a deep breath. "Help me understand."


I jerked back at his words, shaking my head abruptly. "I can't. I'm sorry."


Liam's face fell as he watched my reaction. The frown looked so unfamiliar on his mouth that it made me want to cry. I hated being the reason that my boyfriend frowned.


"Liam." I started, reaching out to place my hand on his shoulder.


"Don't touch me." He snapped, jerking his arm away.


"I-"


"No." He stated coldly. "If you don't want to help me understand, then there's no reason you should comfort me or try to talk to me."


I frowned, tugging the end of my sleeves over the scars on my arms as I sat there and thought.


"I don't want to be here anymore." He muttered suddenly as he pushed himself off of the couch. "Bye Audrey."


And without a second thought, he pushed his way out of the room.

[Timothy]

I am le tired, and so I will approach this grammatically later if you so desire.

As for the storytelling... I find it really strange how quickly Liam snaps from trying to understand to turning Audrey away. The brief moment of hurt when she refuses to open up to him doesn't make enough impact to really justify his reaction. Anger is of course a secondary emotion and here it just feels really jumpy.

I enjoyed reading it, though. There's definitely good stuff to work with here. That moment of hurt just needs to make a bigger impact. Maybe using stronger language would help? Time to hit up thesaurus.com.

[Sienna]

Thank you thank you. And I do so wish that you hit it grammatically later. As for now. This is the first draft of the first draft of the first draft of a one shot that I'm writing. I will definitely add in stronger language. And I will definitely take into consideration the emotional jumpage. I hadn't thought about it, but you're right. His emotions are unrealistically portrayed.